Hard Knocks – Episode 1 Recap

After the Lockout of 2011 forced it into hiatus, HBO’s Hard Knocks made it’s much anticipated return to television after a two year hiatus.  Needless to say, it was sorely missed.  Preseason football just isn’t the same without the behind the scenes look this show provides NFL fans with.  Read on for some key moments from the first episode of this season.

  • One of the main story lines of the Dolphins’ offseason has been the brewing battle at the quarterback position featuring the first round pick Ryan Tannehill, newly signed free agent David Garrard, and last year’s starter Matt Moore.  There may be a competition brewing between these players’ wives as well, with Lauren Tannehill currently in lead.  These women deserve their own VH1 reality series.  Chad Johnson’s wife, Evelyn Lozada of Basketball Wives fame, could definitely give them some pointers
  • A bunch of grown men (NFL players at that) aiding in the dyeing of each other’s hair? – Straight out of the How To Build Team Camaraderie manual
  • Exiting the facility after a workout that lead to no contract offer had to be a bit heartbreaking for the veteran receiver, but Braylon Edwards would go on to sign with the Seahawks, so that was remedied rather quickly
  • Farewell Derek Dennis – we hardly knew ye.  Cut before your first practice? – Potentially soul crushing
  • Chad Johnson entering a coaches only meeting and proceeding to take a seat proves once and for all that he has no equal in the Team Asshat department
  • New Dolphins head coach Joe Philbin’s practice methods separates the boys from the men – just ask Vontae Davis, who’s clearly out of shape
  • I feel good.  I look good.  I feel like I’m moving.  I feel like a cheetah.  I feel … I feel black” – Chad OchoAssHat
  • Chad’s less than stellar one year tenure in New England lead to … umm, a lack of “intimate time” with Evelyn.  So there’s that …
  • If you pause Call of Duty for somebody, that’s the f***ing one” – replace Call of Duty with Madden, and I’d be forced to agree
  • Still awaiting the first “Child, please” of the season
  • Jake Long has a serious potty mouth
  • Chad & Reggie with a late night session of Fifa on PS3 – wonder if they traded any tips on how to scoop up a reality show vixen …
  • Ryan Tannehill impressed coaches in his first post-holdout practice.  Can’t wait to see how he develops
  • Les Brown spent his college years playing basketball, then two post grad years in finance.  Hasn’t played football since high and it shows
  • You look hot … as uschze” – Brown to his girlfriend.  Cut him now!
  • Of course Tim Tebow would get a mention
  • Kevin Burnett – props
  • These cheerleaders deserve more camera time
  • Coach Philbin reprimanding Chad over his off-color language in his introductory press conference was a bit much.  You had to have known what you were getting when you signed the guy
  • Could be a result of HBO’s stellar editing, but Ryan Tannehill looks like the real deal.  Even thought David Garrard is listed as the starter on the first preseason depth chart, it’ll only be a matter of time before Tannehill is officially named the starter

Once again, I seriously missed Hard Knocks.  I wish they had a session running with all 32 teams through out the season.  In the meantime, I guess this will suffice.  Miami provides a beautiful back drop for this season’s edition.  Episode 2 airs next Tuesday.  Can’t wait.


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